I coach divorcee’s everyday that come to my office or call me on the phone. The conversation is always fraught with anger, hurt, and four letter words. The ex-wife says, “I don’t understand! He said he was going to pay the payment. It’s in my divorce decree! I can show it to you. Does that not count for anything?” I also hear from the ex-husbands whose wife have added some lines of credit way after they have parted ways, “I can assure you I have never had a Victoria Secret card.  (Then the light comes on.) That little @#$%!”

The good news is that all of this can easily be avoided with a proactive attitude and a game plan. I will give you the cure, but you have to take the medicine.

1.       Assume the worst – I am writing this based on the assumption that your ex or soon to be would rather see you dead, stuffed, and mounted in the trophy room. With this being said you have shared some pretty intimate moments and more importantly personal, financials with this person. Even if, for some odd reason, you and your used to be are cordial you still need to follow the check list step by step and do it now.

2.       Check your credit - Immediately. This is the foundation to everything else. The longer you wait the worse it will be. I have a friend who went through a divorce and just recently checked her credit. She was prompted because she had received foreclosure papers on a house that she was making payments on time every month. I suggested she pull her credit. Much to here horror her ex-husband had taken out a second mortgage in her name just before he left her. It is imperative to keep a check on your credit. We recommend credit.com to our clients which allow them to pull their credit anytime they want. You can check out the link here.

3.       Reality Hits: The divorce decree is a worthless piece of paper when it comes to your credit. Unfortunately, Capital One does not care the slimy loser ran away with your best friend. If your name is listed on the debt then you are liable for the whole thing. (We will discuss this in a deeper context on future posts.)

4.       Join a credit watch service. If you did #2 then you have already joined a program. Credit.com is amazing about alerting you when someone has pulled your credit. That way you can track unauthorized inquiries and stop them before anything is approved. Here is the link if you did not join credit.com – they are awesome. We recommend them to our clients.

5.       You may need professional help (no I am not a therapist). If you find that the process of rebuilding or even repairing your credit is too much for you to handle you can check out their site on Credit Dusters. They provide credit repair and financial coaching to help you get through the storm. You may just need some FREE advice and an opportunity to plug into a great support team.

6.       You will need to subscribe to a FREE service called proquo.com. It helps you to remove your name and personal information from thousands of marketing lists, data brokers and other organizations that send you unsolicited mail.

7.       Next, you will need to put a FREEZE on your credit – all three of the bureaus offer this service. Experian, Equifax, Trans Union. – This will keep anyone from accessing your credit without your permission.

The bottom line is to be proactive. If you do nothing then you are open to hardship years beyond the divorce.